Christian Dating

 Dating is not something that is talked about enough in the church, and it's something that can have disastrous consequences when not done right. 

First off, the Bible doesn't talk about dating, it talks about marriage. So that's step one. If you're not going to marry the person, and you know that, don't waste their time by getting into a relationship. 

In the extensive information about marriage in the Bible, one of the most important things it says about choosing who to be with is that you should be "equally yoked". 

A yoke is a piece of equipment that went over two ox when they were pulling a plow. The two ox had to be equally yoked, otherwise one would get ahead of the other and the plow would fall over. It's similar in dating. The person you're dating should be just as dedicated to God as you are. Otherwise, your relationship is going to be unbalanced and one of the relationships- either the one between the two of you, or the one between you and God- is going to fall. 

This next point goes out to my ladies specifically, as the Bible calls us to "submit" to our husbands. And while this may seem like a nasty word, which I'm not going to get too much into on this post, it does not mean make yourself any lesser or lower. 

If you're going to submit to your husband, it is going to be because he is such a good leader, such a good decision maker, that you don't have to worry about it. Is Timmy from math class that man? If you are going to have to back off a part of yourself because he can't handle it, that is not your future husband. 

Understand that your goal isn't to find a husband or a wife. Your goal is to grow in your relationship with Christ. 

There's a metaphor that your life is one big race of you running toward God. You're running towards that one spot with everything in you. There are people around you, also running, but you're all at your own pace. If while you're pursuing God you happen to look over and see someone attractive next to you, also pursuing God as hard as you are... wait a while and if they're still there then you can maybe introduce yourself. 

Don't think too much about "finding the right person", instead think about becoming the right person. 

You want to marry someone who points to Jesus. Do you do that for the people around you? You want to marry someone who is patient and shows you grace. Do you do that? 

Desire Christ more than marriage. It's not a bad thing to want a relationship, but it should never criss the boundaries of what God has for you.